JANUARY NOTATIONS (2023)

Happy. Freaking. New Year.

And I mean that. I wish all a well one.

We made it out of 2022, whether in peace or in pieces...we did it.

I have high hopes for 2023.

I know some may advise against having expectations for the unknown in an attempt to avoid disappointment but I on the other hand would rather stride on the side of optimism.

I'm sure most can agree that January felt like every single bit of 4 weeks and some change. I for one can say I don't mind a slow burn as those around me know that when it comes to time I'd much rather relish in the hours than to rush into the weeks. All in all I'd say this month was one that allowed me to stop and smell the flowers for a chance.

1.Bring It In

I don't remember the last time I've had a memorable NYE celebration...if I've even had any at all. I know without a shadow of doubt the past 4 years have consisted in me raising a glass to the television screen from the solitude and comfort of my home for one reason or the other.

So this time around hit different.

As much as it was bittersweet, as it doubled as a going away party for my great friend of mine, it leaned on sweeter than anything else. Some relationships were reconciled, others were made anew, tears were shed and laughs were had. And overall there was a feeling of love and newness in the air that made it as perfect as it could be.

Fully embracing the spirit of transformation, there was a moment which exemplified the possibilities that an open mind and change of heart can bring. Luckily, I was able to catch it live and direct, in 4K and as much as I'd never think to utter such a phrase: Cantaloupes are pretty cool.

All in all I'm looking forward to what God has to show me this year and all that I'll make of my time in 2023.

2. Deana with D

The High Museum has been on it as of late.

With their prior exhibit featuring Carrie Mae Weems' "Kitchen Table Series", I was gassed to say the least when I found out that there was going to be an entire Deana Lawson exhibition this time around.

Arguably most popularly associated with the Blood Orange Freetown Sound cover, Deana Lawson is an extremely incitive African-American female photographer who is known to expose intimacy. Weather it be the subject of spirituality, self identity, romanticism or family dynamics, Lawson is known to pull her audience into whatever or whoever's world is being captured, in a way that almost feels like you're intruding--or rather being invited into something sacred.

It's common knowledge that it's one thing to view art from 6inch LED screen, but it's an entirely different ballgame to interact with a piece in its wholeness in person. Of course I've seen her images floating around the internet and resonated with them, but on a trip to Minneapolis back in 2019 was what I refer to as my first actual encounter with her work.

I remember finally reaching another floor of the Minneapolis Institute of Art, spanning time as not only was I hungry but none of the pieces seemed to really jumped out to me just yet. So as I've made my way to the opposite side of the room and have fixated myself on a large sculpture then out of the corner of my eye I see her. Standing 6ft tall and saturated in hues of blue, Eternity was standing before me in all her glory. I was so quickly captivated that I immediately left the sculpture where is was and was released to her pull.

Captivating, confident, classical, erotic, confusing.

All these phrases going through my mind the further I analyze the picture and from that moment I was when I was sold. I can honestly say that experiencing this piece was a highlight of my getaway.

Fast forward to January 2023, as much I was looking forward to having a reunion with Eternity, there were so many other works that stood out to me and etched themselves into my memories.

Luckily, I can relive this experience with ease as The High acquired one of my new favorite out of her works entitled "Chief".

From the introductory piece being that of child birth, to the association wall made of a compilation of various different photos, to simply a photo of taken of an elusive soiled rag I was engulfed into her mind and emerged into her works in a way that was impactful and etching.

3. Chicago Run

If you don't know a granny baby fr.

Love my granny down.

And as the great Prophetess Jocelyn Hernanez has proclaimed: The grandmother is indeed the baby

Considering I haven't seen mine since my late Grandfather was laid to rest back in 2021, I was a excited to welcome her back to America.

I love surprises, and surprising my loved ones so when I figured out the night before that she had a 9 hour layover in Chicago, guess who immediately booked herself flight?

And ya'll know I love a good flight.

So there I was, prepping for a day of seamless reunion and as they say, "Man Plans, God Laughs".

With take off at 5:55 AM and her arrival being set for 1:11PM, I thought to myself, "This is it, I'm literally supposed to be here. My presence is going to bring her so much comfort!"

And as much as I wasn't wrong whatsoever, I was completely ignorant of the calamity that my attendance would hold.

Girl. (gender neutral)

Tell me why the airline lost my grandma.

Yes.

LOST her...as in MIA...for hours.

To cut a very stressful and trauma inducing story short. After many calories burned while running around a logistical nightmare of an airport, dozens of calls to a seemingly abandoned corporate office, strained interactions with hard-hearted employees, nearly being moved to tears, and the faith of many mustard seeds: I finally found her nearly 3 hours before her departure.

Needless to say, both I and Gram Gram had to crack a cold one after the day we had.

As much as it was a very long and stressful day, in the grand scheme of things it boiled down to being a few highly inconvenient hours. The joy on her face upon accepting my unanticipated arrival made it all worth the hassle and I'm glad I led with my impulsive spirit as I do believe God had a plan for me to be there, obviously for reasons I couldn't foresee.

As for my overall thoughts on the matter.

United Airlines, you WILL crumble.

Life is so unpredictable. Just call your Grandma dude (gender neutral).

4. I Had A Cup of Coffee

Considering that Me, myself and I always have the best things to say, I am constantly in conversation.

It was about midday, more specifically around that point where it would make sense to have nap however I'm an "adult" now so apparently it's frowned upon. Not only was I mentally crashing but I was hungry...very hungry... so what did I do?

I had a cup of coffee.

Sure I could've had a proper meal and it probably would've done a better job at appeasing my hunger and my headache.

But I didn't.

I had a cup of coffee.

I don't know what it was about this specific 8oz dark roast blend that put me into this perspective but I realized that I was once again suppressing my natural desires but this time around via a mere cup of coffee.

Follow me.

A quick fix.

Highly time efficient.

Easy to digest.

Hands free.

And provides a question burst of energy.

But at what cost? Is the substitution worth it if its only going to leave me even hungrier and more drained once the high is over?

So of course upon that realization I had to go down the rabbit hole. Because that's just what I do best. And I began to think of all the other ways I have suppressed my hunger. Whether it be tethering cheap company to avoid solitude, drowning myself in a day job because its an "easier" mode of income, or shouting "c'est la vie!" when faced with severe inconveniences.

Simply said, both literally and figurately speaking, hunger is a state of desperation. It is a state of lack and though it may be unfavorable, it is however natural and a way to take heed of inventory. As much as acceptance is the first step, the route taken to satisfy our cravings may be just as crucial.

To take the healthier route and prepare for the inevitable, or to sabotage self into operating in a state of survival?

Just a penny for your thoughts...or a rather...a sip.